growing up, growing older, getting the hell over it. when not procrastinating at life, at least.

You know how I said "mending friendships?"

WELL HOLY FLIPPING FORKING SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS HE'S TALKING TO ME WHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDO?!

The movie MUST BE BOYCOTTED, D'ARVIT!

(Oh yes, Artemis Fowl. A renewed obsession.

Avatar: The Last Airbender, Studio Ghibli films, Little House books, Animal Ark books...I am so totally regressing. BUT DO I CARE? Nope.)

1) LOOK AT WHO THE DIRECTOR IS.

2) LOOK AT WHO IS GONNA BE ZUKO. IS ZUKO AN INDIAN? I THINK NOT. (I'm not being racist, just pointing out the facts.) (Most injustice over Zuko, the hottest character on the show.)

3) THE DIRECTOR.

4) Putting someone from Twilight in it. AS SOKKA. WTF, I say, WTF.

5) THE DIRECTOR.

6) No Asians WHATSOEVER. And there is a HUGEFREAKINGNORMOUSLY OBVIOUS Asian influence on the show.

7) Did I mention THE DIRECTOR? I'm sorry, but, Shyalaman is just gonna ruin it.

Gah.

But to my main point. I never finished watching the show, but got back into it because of all the hype from the movie...and let me just say, I'm glad I never finished it. This is me rejecting canon. Because, seriously, just...NO. GAH. I love me my crack pairings. You hear, Squid? CRACK. But perfect. Still crack. BUT PERFECT.

Holy schnazzozzle.

It's been a long time. Like five months. Well, really, five months and two days.

So...not much has really legitimately gone down. Life is boring, what can I say?

I'm currently busy being nervousnervousnervous--HOLY SHI--ITAKEMUSHROOMS. I almost had a heart attack there.

Turning on music after a long period of silence will do that to you. Especially since YouTube loads slower than usual for me now. I know, I have no patience.

Okay, and I'm a bit high strung here. Finally made the one phone call I've been dreading for exactly twelve days--TWELVE! That's a lot of built up stress.

But I'm good at escaping stress. It's kind of why my grades are headed for the toilet, but meh.

So much to say, so little energy...I still haven't even talked about my summer vaykay! Meh, again.

Well kiddos, here's to mending friendships, keeping up with life, doing homework, and enjoying Winter Vacation. And of course, 2009. It's been real.

(On a side note, if I don't watch The Princess and the Frog--hello, first reg'larly Disney animated film since Home on the Range?--and Sherlock Holmes before oh-ten, I might have to strangle something.)

Also, HOLY SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS AGAIN. Where did my fox people go?! I changed it to some weird dude WHEN? (My emotion/mood people.)

SPOILERS (kinda) FOR THE GI JOE MOVIE

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

(If you care, anyways. I've never really had an aversion to spoilers for movies I didn't expect much from.)





Yeah, well, I was unimpressed by it.

It was mostly because I just finished the Bourne movies, and you just don't get better action than that.

Also, I realized how many people they killed off right away, and it made me feel sick.

I mean, the gadgets were admittedly very cool, but...

They spent most of the time blowing stuff up, the acting was okay, the character development was next to nothing, the ending was too short and crammed, the climax sucked, and they spent the entire movie being cliche and entirely too do-gooder-y for my taste.

See?

It's because of the Bourne movies. (Not that I mind, but I paid good money to watch an okay movie.)

The ending.

OHMYGRAPES.

I AM NEVER WATCHING ANOTHER HERO MOVIE EVER AGAIN.

THEY ARE ALWAYS SO CLICHE AND OBVIOUS AND IT PISSES ME OFF.

I will only watch anti-hero movies from now on.

(At least I think they're anti-heroes.)

Like Batman and Jason Bourne.

Yup.

Wait, I take that back. I still want to watch Ironman 2, even though it's probably not going to be that good.

But he's not exactly a nice hero...

So maybe it still applies.

Okay, basically, they can't be annoying, perfect, cliche heroes. Because I don't know if it was how cheesy everything was, or if Channing Tatum just really annoys me, but I can't stand those people anymore.

NO ONE IS THAT GOOD.

GRAPES.

(And mind control? So passe.)

(Whatever that means.)


~*~

Well, in all honesty, it wasn't a horrible movie. It was pretty decent. There were funny parts, and some of the fighting was pretty cool. It was kind of too unreal, though. So I wasn't very impressed.

I think I'm getting too old for this kind of stuff...but then again, I'm the one who's watching Curious George, so I probably can't say anything.

...are amazing inventions

Anyways, today I watched Shaolin Showdown for the first time in like...ever. (We have it on DVD for some reason.)

I watched Curious George, because good grapes, he's freaking adorable. (That was on TV. Not DVD)

And Cyberchase.  Just because. I used to watch it all the time when I was little; I can't believe I ever thought the math was hard. I guess I'm smarter than I though. (On TV too. But I think we have it recorded on tape somewhere.)

Woah, I have the sudden urge to watch Beauty and the Beast.

Okay, anyways.

OHMYGRAPES, I WATCHED SWORDS OF AN HONORABLE RULER TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME, AND HOLY SHIT, SESSHOMARU.

I love him.

I squealed every time he came on screen. (Which was pretty often.)

I miss that man.

Demon.

WHATEVER.

Why can't the manga/show be called Sesshoumaru? I mean, seriously. Why Inuyasha? Who CARES about Inuyasha? We've got Sesshoumaru! And he's hot! And utterly kick ass! He's all cool and calm and then BOOM!

(Although, I have to admit that I squealed when they went back to back to fight the evil soulless undead because that was just so...SO!)

The only thing that pisses me off is that people say he's an ice block.

He is SO NOT.

Anyways. It's so cute that he's in denial about wanting to protect Jaken and Rin. It just makes him more appealing.

Gosh, he's like, bent on making me attracted to him!

Although, really, it's not that hard.

Teehee!

I always watch this particular movie because there's more Sesshoumaru.

I used to watch the Castle in the Looking Glass or whatever the hell it's called (the one with Kaguya) and the Affections movie because they were so Inuyasha and Kagome, but then I saw the light and realized that Sesshoumaru is so much better. (There was a significantly disturbing lack of Sesshoumaru in those movies, too.)

So there.

(I know, my logic is screwy.)

And with Kagome is just like...perfection.

(Even though it's totally a crack pairing and completely anti-canon. But who says I care? Not me.)

We rewatched The Bourne Identity, Supremacy, and Ultimatum.

And I found out that they were based off of books, so I absolutely HAVE to read them now.

I am so totally in love with Jason Bourne.

 

AHH! Just typing his name makes me go all ":D."

(That's right, there are no words.)

I'm not sure why I didn't appreciate him the first time I watched the movies.

Must be the new hormones.

BUT OHMYGRAPES.

He his kick ass, and therefore trumps all.

(Maybe.)

I mean, Tony DiNozzo and Batman are still way up there, and Batman obviously kicks ass (Tony not so much, but, still awesome)...

But Jason Bourne is like...

I would even dare say he's better than Batman. Because, you know, he's not backed up by gadgets.

Only fighting-wise, though!

The other stuff is TBA.

If I ever decide, at least.

Teehee!

For Star Trek.

~

Also, I need to stop falling in love with fictional characters.

But I won't, because it's far too fun.

What can I say?

I'm a player.

~

My music doesn't match my mood. Oh, well.

Maybe I shouldn't be the bombshellrecord.

Maybe I should be the idiotrecord, or the idiocyrecord.

Or maybe the sarcasticrecord.

But then again, I'm not that sarcastic, no matter how hard I try. It's a shame, really.

~

Oh yeah, and I read the first two books of The Mortal Instruments trilogy, by Cassandra Clare. They're pretty good.

(As you can see, I've returned to my favorite past time: reading. It trumps all. Even TV. And possibly writing and drawing. Maybe. It's a close call.)

You know, it's kind of sad that I read two books four times each, and another twice, over the span of less than two weeks. (I should have brought more books on my trip, I just knew it. But I didn't.) In retrospect, Tamora Pierce is so amazing that it's nothing bad.

I can't wait for tomorrow--I'm going to the library, and they had better have City of Glass. Or I'll just check out everything else.

Maybe. That would be a little hard to carry.

I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!

(It's actually kind of stupid, so you can probably just stop here.)

(Background info: I'm trying to use different pictures for every post. And there's a 15 picture limit for the free account-type-things.)

EVERY TIME I DELETE A PICTURE TO UPLOAD A NEW ONE, THE PICTURE AUTOMATICALLY CHANGES TO MY DEFAULT PICTURE!

ARGH!

THAT IS SO LAME.

~

In other new, I just finished rereading Harry Potter books one through three.

I'd forgotten how funny they are.

I should probably talk about my trip, huh?

Before I forget, since I have such an awful memory.

...maybe later...

The pain of returning to dance after two weeks and pushing it a bit has just set in.

And I'm feeling lazy.

But that's no surprise.

This isn't exactly going to be a long post, but, I felt like posting something.

School's starting soon.

I'm not very excited.

It's not exactly my favorite place to be, and I have no interest in interacting with...well, people.

But I'll be okay.

EDIT: since I don't remember what picture I had before...heeeeeeeeeeere'sssssssss Kuroganeeee~! I should cross it out and write "I was too sexy for SCHOOL."

...I hate my computer.

I had this lovely rant about how I really, truly despise the question "Are you okay?" and now...

Poof.

It's gone.

WHATTHEFORK IS "WEBPAGE HAS EXPIRED?!"

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY!

SERIOUSLY?

WOW.

I think the world is a conspiracy against me...I'll just...go now...to my little corner of sadness...and despair...

...and ignore the urge to just STAB something...

(Okay, I'm getting a tad frustrated by my mood-foxes. Seriously. All of these different emotions and all they can give me for about ninety-five percent of them is >:| ?!?!?!?! WHAT IS THIS?!)

(NO, I AM NOT IN AN EASILY IRRITATED MOOD. NOT AT ALL.)

(And that's SO not a lie. Really.)

(Why am I talking to myself? In parentheses? Good grapes, I need to go get my mind checked.)

(Did I really just say good grapes?)

(Head.Desk.)

Now if only I could remember how to change the mood-people...

~

On a side note, how many different Blackberries are they going to come up with? I mean, seriously, what in the name of tea is a Blackberry Tour?

I know I fail, but this is ridiculous!

I was completely wrong about what that boring page you get after you've posted an entry says.

I'm not even going to try to write the right thing.

You know how when you've posted an entry it goes to this boring, standard, white LJ page that has a bunch of options after saying something like Your Entry Has Been Posted?

And then at the bottom, there's like, this heinous little blue box.

Heinous, I say. Heinous.

It says: You have only made __ friends.

It BITES, dude! LiveJournal! Whatever! It bites, it really does.

Seeing as, you know, I've only got two friends.

ON LIVEJOURNAL.

Not in real life.

Psh.

Two friends.

(Three's not that bad...right?)

(Just kidding.)

SO...it's been a while! (Surprise, surprise.)

I have the urge to change things here. Namely the whole layout type thing and my default icon, which I am a bit bored of.

Here's to hoping I can figure out how to do it.

(DUDE! DO YOU SEE MY MOOD-FOX?! IT'S SO COOL!)

By Julianne Hough.

It's really kind of a dumb song but it's SO addicting and I LOVE Julianne Hough she is like, dude, like, my idol, like.

Seriously.

I was so lucky last weekend, every morning I turned on Pandora on my phone and went to my Julianne Hough station, ZEE OH EM GEE, it was on You, You, You! (I can't find the darn song on YouTube and it pisses me off, GRAWR!)

I was very happy.

And TODAY.

ZEE OH EM GEE TIMES A GAGILLION.

IT PLAYED IN THE MORNING AND JUST NOW.

I AM SO LUCKY.

AND THIS IS A SIGN.

I DON'T KNOW OF WHAT, BUT IT IS A SIGN.

(Ridiculous, isn't it, how a song can make me so happy. But that is the MAGEEK of MUSEEK, oh yes it is.)

I couldn't decide which icon I wanted, so here's the link to my second choice: http://media.photobucket.com/image/shopping%20icons/RiverIsMyGoddess/icons/smiley_shopping.gif?o=32

Consider this your one and only warning--this is a long, boring narrative of my day.

-

So, today I went shopping with Naive, and I shall now officially switch her name to Dumpling. Unless I've alrady done that...?

Anyways, it was awesome.

We struck Wetzel's Pretzel's first--may I say the Sour Cream and Onion is absolutely heavenly? Because it is. And the dude even gave me extra sour cream and onion! Awesomeness. I was standing in Charlotte Russe and scraping up every last bit, since I'm such a bottomless pit for food. (For some reason, I was constantly hungry today. Like now, I'm hungry. But I don't feel like going downstairs, and that shall be explained later, if I remember.)

Next we stopped in Victoria's Secret (good lord, I hate that place) and Dumpling returned this dress, and got the money in a giftcard (I don't think she was very happy with that) and picked out this shiny pink one that said "I love you" and I snickered and told her it was really saying "Spend me, spend me!" (you know, she got like, thirty dollars back--for VS, it's nothing, but for any other store, whew!) and then it was funny because the lady asked for ID and Dumpling gives her this bewildered look (if you have ever seen the way her face just...contorts into the funniest expressions, oh jeez), and was like, "Huh? You mean like a student ID?" but then the lady decided that she was under 18 so she didn't need to see ID. Anyways on our way out we saw a pile of bras that were like, Z cup or something (they were ginormous beyond all belief) and it was kind of creepy because we could've used that as a butt cushion or something.

Hyup. I'm not a big fan of the lingerie thing, so I was happy with the whole in-and-out thing.

SO!

We went to find Charlotte Russe and passed this jewelry store--and then I decided we were going to pick out Dumpling's engagement ring.

It was pretty funny, because you know how jewelry stores have those displays and they just get more impressive as you move on? So we started out with one, then, two, and then by the time we got to the last display case (which was full of gold rings), she was just like, "ALL of them are my engagement rings!" and then we stumbled towards the store laughing and I said "Oh, so you're going to get married and divorced a bazillion times just to keep the rings?" And she said "Wait, don't they keep them?" And then I was like all evil smiley.

(I'm writing all the details for my own memory benefits. I have incredibly bad short term memory.)

We went to Charlotte Russe, where I found this adorable jacket-type-thing for Dumpling, but, it was twenty bucks for like, a piece of cloth with armholes in it. So she didn't get it. Plus, we had the whole mall to strike! (It was a really clean, organized mall, too. I liked it berry mucho.) Le sigh. It was very cute on her, if not impractical for warding off the cold. But hey, that's fashion. I got my hands a lovely grey cowl-necked shirt with slightly drapey sleeves--I'm in love with it. It was also a bargan--seven bucks! Yes! Win! And I spent most of my Charlotte Russe giftcard...unfortunately, it has only a dollar or so left, and that's basically useless. But I will use it. Probably for another pair of sunglasses. So I was satisfied.

Oh, and while we were in Charlotte Russe, Dumpling got a call from her sister, and she picks up, and thirty seconds later, she yelps, "You're getting married? Oh my gosh!" and repeats "You're getting married!" until her sister hangs up.

It was pretty funny. I, of course, was cracking up as I usually do when she's doing weird stuff, and we just ignored the weird looks we got. Because we did get weird looks.

Let's see, what was next? I believe it was Anchorblue, but...I'm not sure. No, wait, I'm sure. I found a really cute, amazing tote for Dumpling and oh, I wanted it. But she actually needed one, whereas I don't, so...

From Charlotte Russe, we went on the escalator where Dumpling saw the H&M in construction sign and then she decided she could live at the mall.

"Well, sure! They have a mattress store somewhere down there, there's food, and all my favorite stores! I'm all set!"

Such a dorkus.

Speaking of Anchorblue, oh my goodness! We had the funniest encounter. The tote I found was one I actually saw on display, so I pulled it off and showed her because I was bound and determined to find her something (the last time we went shopping together, she didn't buy anything and I felt bad, even though I bought something I really needed.) She really liked it and opened it to look inside. So she pulled out all the paper stuffed inside to give it shape and shoved it at me with a "here, hold this." I started cracking up because she just piled it up (they packed so much paper in there!) and it kept on falling and I was chasing after it...anyways...

Then this girl who works there comes up to us and is all, "Um...can I help you girls?"

And then we start cracking up because we've got all this paper around us and in my arms and it looks kind of weird and suspicious at the same time... and we we explained what we were doing and the girl is like, "Oh, you could find the bags in the front," so we go and stuff the bag back up and hand it back to her and dash off to find the one we can actually buy.

It was kind of fail, now that I think about it.

Oh well.

So that was that.

She bought the bag (I recommend Anchorblue bags, because seriously, they're well made, durable, and cute. Plus, when they're on sale, they're only ten dollars. Hers was twenty, but that's a damn good deal for the size of the tote.) and I bought a tin, red, mini Chinese-take-out-shaped box with candy stars on the inside and a Hello Kitty design on the outside for my mom. It was ridiculously overpriced, but, Mommy loves Hello Kitty, so. Oh, and there were candy holders of the mushroom things from Mario and they were soooo cute and I loved them.

Too bad there was no purple one. Le sigh.

And then was Forever 21 which was like and explosion of color and I was very excited, but I had no idea what to buy, so, we left pretty quickly. We just wandered around the store a little and talked and then left. After that was, uh...PacSun, I think. Or maybe it was Hot Topic. I think it was Hot Topic. Or maybe it was American Eagle?

 

Yeah, American Eagle.

 

Yup, went in, collapsed on the intensely comfortable couch, and Dumpling came to me and said they didn’t have what she wanted, so…then the scarves in the back caught my eye. I have an obsession with scarves, but sadly, I only have three.

 

But I love them soooooo much.

 

$3.95. Can you believe it? From AMERICAN EAGLE.

 

WHAT an AMAZING deal. (Bee Tee Double U, I adore American Eagle’s jackets, they are beyond warm. But I hate the rest of the stuff, it’s like, fragile and expensive, blah. The jackets are always worth the price. But by price I mean sale price.)

 

I bought it. It’s a pretty, winter-y, big-plaid (?) scarf. I was like, DUDE, OH EM GEE, I HAVE TO GET THIMS, OH EM GEE. And I was going to get another one because I’m such a compulsive spender, but then that would have been TEN DOLLARS and hi, there were more stores to hit! So I didn’t. (Actually, it wasn’t really that I controlled my impulse, it was more of I didn’t really like any of the other ones and I got the last one of mine, CHYAH.)

 

(Funnily enough, I bought really winter-y stuff, rather than summer-y. Weird. I guess I have winter-y tastes, haha!)

Okay, Hot Topic had colored skinny jeans for freaking TEN DOLLARS EACH.

Good gracious.

I really wanted a pair. But I already have purple, and that's pretty much the only color that looks good on me on jeans. Well, the blue and pink could have worked, but there were these ugggglaayyyy decorative zippers and the brat already has pink, so, she would have thrown a fit. (Ten dollars. I still can't get over it. The pink was really nice. Eye-smarting, but nice.)

Dumpling looked for a Mayday Parade shirt (she was incredibly happy when she found it) and tossd the Batman logo-d T-shirt right back onto the rack. Then I decided I wanted to try on a pair of the skinny jeans and so I got the bright orange pair down...

Well, it was an interesting experience.

The material was really smooth, like a demented mix of spandex, polyester, and nylon or something. But it wasn't stretchy at all, and I even got a size bigger than I normally wear and couldn't zip it up. Very fail. They were, as Dumpling described, carrot orange. Literally. It was hell, putting them on, but even worse to take them off--I had to get Dumpling to help me pull them off.

(Also, stores have this really lame rule about one person per dressing room, psh, what is that? Just get smaller dressing rooms! Hot Topic only had one, what is that?)

(OH, and a Hot Topic, we stood out like sore thumbs. We're all relaxed, bordering prep-ish, I suppose, and we're in the middle of a poorly lit, crowded store with all these scene people. It was kind of funny. And seriously, what is it with Hot Topic stores and being small? Because the other one I saw in another mall was just as small, if not smaller.)

After Hot Topic was PacSun--I loveeeeeeeeee that place. Best skinny jeans ever.

But damn, they're ridiculously overpriced.

There were these shorts that were todiefor, and they were in this adorable sky blue/turquoise mix with a white wash, and they were really, really pretty and I loved them to death--

--and they were too short.

GRAWR.

(And expensive, but there was a buy one get one free deal, so it wasn't horrible.)

So I didn't get those adorably pretty shorts.

SIGH.

We then wandered down to See's Candies (Zee.Oh.Em.Gee. I love that place!) and my mom had given me this gift certificate for a pound of chocolate--dude, that's the equivalent of $15.60! That's so much money! For chocolate, especially. Cuz, you know, the chocolates are pretty small. I haven't been there for a very, very long time, so all I did was pick out the random ones until I filled up a pound and yum. The lady who got our chocolates had this sweet British accent--I was very jealous.

We went back upstairs, and I got pulled into Sheek because I saw these really cute flats in the display and I had to try them on and they looked okay on my, but then Dumpling went, "Ew."

So I put them back.

Sigh.

BUT NEVER FEAR!

I tried on a bazillion more before I looked down and saw--it.

Black, sequined ballet flats.

ZEE OH EM GEE.

DOROTHY, HERE I COME!

I asked for my size, tried it on, and fell in love. Hoh yes I did.

I turned over the display shoe and practically had a heart attack.

FIFTEEN DOLLARS?! It was like a dream come true. (That's really cheap for flats, you know. And I have been looking for the flats for a year.)

 

I called the brat, asked if I should get it, got a yes (because I can be a compulsive spender), and bought it.

 

Bam. Boom. It was done.

 

My life is good.

Then I got called up to Forever 21 by the brat, who wanted these heinously ugly shorts and I thought her brain had been swapped with like, Mischa Barton or Paris Hilton or something, because they were, hi, disgusting, and should have been burned. Seriously. For one, they looked like they were made by someone who has two left hands or something, and they were torn.

Jeebus, torn is so not cool. I mean, you could do that by yourself why would you pay an obscene amount of money to get them pre-torn? And on shorts--even worse!

I died on the inside, I swear. She wanted me to split the cost and like, she would share or whatever (yeah, RIGHT) but I took one look of those and I flat out said, "There is no way in hell I am paying for that nightmare."

Yay for standing up for myself! Haha~

 

And then…we got bored. But it was almost time to go, so we grabbed a bit of Panda (I prayed so hard for my VIP card to just magically appear in my purse…but that didn’t happen.) and then my parents came and we left.

 

It was a fantabulous trip.

 

Loot: shirt, scarf, flats, and an awesome time.

~

Need to still talk about: Country music, Tsubasa, also Heavy&Somebody Like You, my date on Sunday, family issues, phone.

SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT, SO LITTLE TIME~~~

(I spent a really long time remembering all this, and now it's late and I'm screwed, once more, for my Chem homework.)

(Because I am a nerd (albeit and awesome one) and am taking summer school to get ahead.)

(Why couldn't be remedial? I mean, it'd be so easy. Pathetic that I'd have to take it, but easy.)

(And Eff Why Eye, I am not a shopaholic. And shopping is not life. It's just occasionally fun. I mean, I only find it fun if I go with my friends.)

Note to self: talk about Country music and Tsubasa...later.

Chem homework now.

STUPID, STINKING, ANNOYING, PILED-UP CHEM HOMEWORK, GRAR.

I think I've said at one point in time that I like to think I'm anti-social.

I think it might be partially true, and partially rationalization for the fact that I can't ever "hang out" with my friends.

Summer, for me, started two weeks ago, and I haven't seen a single friend since then. It may not sound like a big deal, but for someone who has problems with being isolated (self-imposed isolation is diferent) because of ridiculous reasons like my stupid father, it is. And it's a pretty big deal to me because they keep me sane when my family drives me to the brink of insanity (which happens pretty often.) It may sound like typical teenaged whining, but, seriously, I cannot stand to be in the same room with my entire family for longer than I have to, and I've been spending plenty of "quality time" with my father, and by "quality time" I mean barbed insults and jabs, fights, arguments, disdain, condescension, etc., from both parties. We don't get along, to put it lightly. Not to mention, oh, I don't know, he's never home. Because he just loves his work--or maybe he's a workaholic, which I highly doubt, seeing as he has a penchant for videogames at any and all hours, and sleeping in until the latest time possible. And also, it's not like this parent of mine has ever been truly involved in my life. Every so often, he will come crashing in, screaming and kicking that nothing is right, I'm all wrong, I'm not going to have a future, I should be doing this, I should be doing that, blah, blah blah.

For God's sake, he doesn't even know what time my school starts and ends. I'd be surprised if he remembered how old I am. It's not like he's around for any birthdays. Oh, and one time in a fight, he demanded to know why I don't have any birthday parties anymore--hello? High school, here? And whenever I did have a party, he flat out refused to be involved at all.

He should just marry his goddamned computer.

I liked him better when he didn't bother with me.

Admittedly, it hurts to feel my own father could care less about me, but it hurts more to know he doesn't expect much. He has made that very clear to me in the past few weeks.

But back to being unable to hang out with my friends, because that's the real point of this.

I don't have a lot of friends.

Well, not a lot of real, true friends that could possibly last a lifetime. I've got maybe three or four of those?

So it really bothers me that I can't even celebrate my best friend's birthday with him.  And I really, really miss him too. I mean, sure we talk pretty much every night, but it's not the same as seeing him in person--and my best girl was going to be there too!

So, well, that's that.

And in other Frustrating News: the ex-best friend count goes up to two.

Well, it's not exactly frustrating, but it is annoying. I'm not going to weep over this girl--if she wants to be a hypcritical whore with no friends, that's her business. I'll have no part in it. Besides, we hardly talked outside of one class, so I doubt that counts as best friends anymore. (This is the one that dated the best friend whose birthday celebration I missed. It was only a movie, but, still.)

And I burned myself yesterday.

Yippee.

Le sigh.

I'm going to move on to happy topics!

...later.

I need to go listen to Within Temptaion or something.

Speaking of which, I found piano sheet music for Stand My Ground! How cool is that?

Oh, and I like Kiss the Rain by Yiruma. That dude is prettttyyyy chillllll.

I think I'm going to go insane.

SOMEONE SAVE ME I'M SO FREAKING BORED.

So bored I might actually go do my homework.

...


NAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!